Freefalling
by Kelly the Vampire Witch
Summary: Angel deals with Buffy's Death WARNING: Chartacter Death


Freefalling  
  
  
  
I cannot believe I wasn't there to say goodbye. I always knew I'd have to some day, but I never thought it would be this soon. Why didn't she call me if things were so bad with Glory? She knew she could always count on me. I would have done anything for her.  
  
  
  
She's a good girl, loves her Momma.  
  
Loves Jesus and America too.  
  
She's a good girl, crazy about Elvis.  
  
Loves horses and her boyfriend too.  
  
  
  
My good girl. She was a wreck after her mother's death. Spirituality and Patriotism, emotions given up by most people, but no matter how awful her life got, she never blamed anyone that wasn't in the room with her. All her friends thought that since she listened to that new-age stuff at the Bronze that that was her music of choice. In fact, she was comforted by listening to oldies. Something about listening to it when she was little with her parents, before the divorce and her being called as the chosen one. She spent her summers at a camp with horse-back riding. She had laughed when she said that she was such a spoiled little princess she had actually asked her dad for a horse. Her Boyfriend. I guess no one deserves that title. Riley and I left an empty void in her life. I hate to think that maybe the demon stuff was easier for her than the relationships.  
  
  
  
It's a long day, when I don't see her.  
  
There's a freeway, running through the yard.  
  
And I'm a bad boy, cause I don't even miss her.  
  
I'm a bad boy, for breaking her heart.  
  
  
  
It's only been a few hours since Willow told me. How come it feels like it's been years? A vampire never looses his sense of time. Why can't the noise in my head stop. It feels like a bunch of trucks driving through the Hyperion. Am I going crazy? No, Cordy is trying to talk to me. I cannot talk about this, about her. She was the love of my unlive, and I left just, because I was sacred I couldn't control myself around her. I didn't want her to have to deal with Angelus again. The pain she went through the last part of her junior year, I can only imagine. I caused her so much pain. I had no right to be with her. To have her openly take me back. I left to save her.  
  
  
  
Now all the Vampires, walking through the valley.  
  
Move west down Ventura Blouvard.  
  
And all the bad boys, are standing in the shadows.  
  
And all the good girls, are home with broken hearts.  
  
  
  
I have to go to Sunnydale. I have to see where she is buried. It isn't even a question that that is where I have to be. I have to say goodbye. To take the time to remember and grieve. At her grave, I got the shock of my unlife, my blonde childe was sitting by her grave talking. I could tell by his voice he had loved her. How much this hurt him. I stood there, listening, as he said that he had to go her home, because he was the man of the house and Willow, Tara, and Dawn needed him. He swore he would never forget his promise to protect Dawn. He was a reformed vampire. I knew why she had trusted him. It amazes me how such a small twenty-year old blonde could have effected the world so dramatically. She was the really Angel. No matter how many centuries of good I will do, I will never be able to measure up.  
  
  
  
I want a black death, over Valhollow.  
  
I want to write her name in the sky.  
  
Gonna freefall out into nothing.  
  
Gonna leave this world for awhile.  
  
Now I'm Free, Freefalling.  
  
  
  
I am lost and disoriented. I lived in Sunnydale for three years. Trust me, there is no way to get lost in this town. Suddenly, I realize where I am and why I came here. This is the cliff where I waited for the sunrise that Christmas two years ago. She and the snow had saved me that early morning. Neither could stop me now. I need to end the pain. I know that I have done so many horrible things that I cannot possible be reunited with her. I just want to end this sorry existence I call a life. She was my life and now she's gone. As the sunrises, I see beautiful shades of red and orange. As I jump off the cliff, I almost feel like a bird flying. As I sense my body turning to dust, I cry out my final word. The name I have said so many times in the past. "Buffy" 


End file.
